The Rigtheous Three-Episode-Rule Of Doom. Summer 2014 “First” Impressions: Re:_Hamatora.

While we're at it, can we please discuss how stupid the name Café Nowhere really is?
While we’re at it, can we please discuss how dumb and childish  the name Café Nowhere really is?

Sigh. Re:_Hamatora, gosh, what can I say? It’s just as crappy as it’s first season.

Well, okay, it does look prettier, which is a real shame because in all honesty, Hamatora has all the ingredients to make a fullfilling chocolate cookie, but really, you can look at at a recipe and throw all the ingredients together, but if you don’t have that extra lovin’, care and discipline well… the disgusting mass of chocolate and dough may be enough for you, but others will just sniff at it.

And that is Hamatora and it’s sequel: A gross high-calorie pot of cookie dough.

See, the problem is that the problems are entirely made up by the writer or director of this thing: It has quirky characters, above-mediocre animation and a solid action-filled plot to go with it, if the people responsible would’ve have taken this seriously it may have been a respectable series, unfortunately, it’s far from it.

At the very least Hamatora just doesn’t give a fuck: Misplaced comedy, OP characters (And not the good kind), monster-of-the-week kind of setting and an overaching plot that hints Hamatora might be interesting, but is too busy focusing on stupid anime-typical jokes is the ultimate downfall of this show.

Hell, even supernatural comedy-filled shenanigans wouldn’t be bad if they just stick with the damn concept instead of mixing it up with a ‘serious and dark’ story of discrimination, inferiority complexes and god damn nakama or whatever.

I mean, I did say Hamatora just doesn’t give a fuck, but Hamatora also has no balls, either: Character getting killed after getting shot or stabbed? Hahaha, of course not, this is Hamatora after all. Inferiority complex? Nah man, let’s hug it out. Food-loving loli that hints to be a badass figther? Of course not, Nice is the superstar, fuck loli, right?

I’ll bet 5$ that Re:_Hamatora will simply end with fashion-disaster Art and Jesus-kun to be best buds again, simply because this Hamatora.


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