The Future Of NoitaminA; Gays And Rip-Offs, Balls And NTR.


According to super accurate industry estimators like anime bloggers that complain too much and sleep too little, the NoitaminA block has been on a decline in experimental and fresh shows, and upped their disgusting otaku-pandering game just to send Hayao Miyazaki to an early grave, who promises he hates anime more than you do.

In case you´ve lived under a rock or lived an actual life, the celebrated its tenth anniversary last year, giving us show such as Paradise Kiss, Kids on the Slope, Princess Jellyfish, Ping Pong the Animation and more recently, Samurai Flamenco, Your Lie in April, Saekano and this seasons Erased – What I´m tryna´ say here is that if we filled an entire season with NoitaminA shows, we´d have a fuckin´ field day deciding what to watch and, if anything, at least gives us a lot to talk about. Besides I get y´all, I hated Your Lie in April.

With that said, they´ve set their shows for the next two years in stone, including Totally-Not-Attack-On-Titan, Baseball Boyfriends, Literary Boyfriends, NTR the Animation and a sequel to a show everyone gassed up in its prime, but forgot about five seconds after it ended. Let´s go.

Airing Date: Spring Season 2016.
Studio: WIT Studios.
Shit you should know: Directed by money-printing dramaking, Tetsurou Araki who directed all the shows dirty casuals love.

The first entry to the bullshit contest is a real one  Attack on Titan Season 2 or otherwise known as Koutetsujou no Kabaneri – You and I both know we´re gonna watch this even though it will probably by a hot mess with character designs that look like they come out of the dodgiest yuri hentai you´ve ever seen in your entire life; dubbed as Attack on Titan with zombies from the protagonist who really needs a nap down to the story and, well, literally everything else, WIT Studio shows that they do not give a fuck about your creative ethics at all.

I´d call this a poundshop Shingeki, but that´d just be innacurate looking at the bomb animation quality. Regardless of that I don´t think it will do anything interesting, like, at all.

Airing Date: Summer Season 2016.
Studio: G Zero.
Shit you should know: Director Tomomi Mochizuki wrote sin like Ameiro Cocoa and Shinigami no Ballad but also some apparent good shit I´ve never heard about like Zettai Shounen.

From experience, if you start an anime trailer out with serene music and a bunch of shots from an old Japanese town, it´s either going to be about gays or a club of middle school spit-sharing friends that promised something once and then someone died. Judging by everything Battery is offering on information, this will probably be the former.

Being the debut baby of studio Zero G, they seem to pander the same audience that has the Shouwa Genroku fans captivated – I mean, they have my attention, though I´m also self-hating trash who gasses up anything with pretty boys and a little plot. Unlike the last show, I think this is a show that wouldn´t exist if it weren´t for NoitaminA.

It might surprise us.

Airing Date: Fall Season 2016.
Studio: Fujoshi Enterprise. (I´m just kidding.)
Shit you should know: Based on a novel which spawned a film that won a Japanese film academy award and was Japans entry for the 86th Oscars under the name “The Great Passage.”

Personally I was hype to watch the trailer of Fune wo Amu because as we all know pretty boys in anime are the reason of my existence – unfortunately the trailer was just a cute cut-out, some text and bubbles. So we really don´t know a lot apart from the tag which reads “Dictionary is a ship that sails across a sea of words.” which probably makes a lot of sense to some people, but by “ship” I like to think they mean the main characters. The actual summary is too complicated for me to understand, but I´m expecting the typical older women bait, kind of like Genroku, and kind of like the aforementioned Battery.

Airing Date:Winter Season 2017.
Studio: Someones basement, probably.
Shit you should know: If you google the manga the only pictures are the characters masturbating or masturbating each other.

You know, I think I might have read the manga of this a while ago. Or at least some chapters. I can´t be  sure and frankly I don´t care enough to look it up, but if Kuzu no Honkai is indeed the one I´ve read, we´re up for some fuckery that´s going to blast up the anime community like it hasn´t done since Aku no friggin´ Hana.

It´s interesting to see a show that isn´t based on romance but still has the intimacy on sex, even if it´s fake and self-comforting, it´s a whole new perspective from what we usually get, and whether or not it will sink to the levels of latino telenovelas or keep it light like Korean dramas is one thing I´m definitely curious about – because anime just doesn´t tip its toes in filthy waters, and this definitely not pure. Neither the studio or staff are announced, and honestly I don´t think any studio is actually able to pull it off. Which leaves me to hope for either a new studio, or thinking optimistically, Madhouse (which isn´t likely) and more realistically DEEN or A1 Pictures, by which I definitely prefer DEEN to put their hands in this.

I´m also skeptical as to whether or not this is going to be a TV show or a bunch of OVAs, because its content and hype is all because of the things that wouldn´t normally get broadcasted.

And that concludes the NoitaminA line-up for the next two years – Hayao Miyazaki might appreciate Kuzu no Honkai.


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