Satelight starts their first ever moe show with a girl snoring, some generic typical romcom conversation and lots of blushing. Really, what else can you do when you´re imitating one of the most iconic anime series of all time?
– It´s still beyond me how Kyoani didn´t get this, it´d be a hit without a doubt, but somehow, Satelight got it, – when I think of Satelight I think of edgy shonen a lá Akame Ga Kill and Steins;Gate, not moe spin-offs of Haruhi Suzumiya.
– Kyon definitely lost his flair with all his internal dialogue lost, now he´s just a generic romcom lead who has also turned into one ugly mothefucker. Nah, Nagato´s the one we´re supposed to fall in love with now, I personally never really cared for the Rei-clones, but we´ll see.
– For now her dere dere turkey kyun kyun just ain´t cutting it for me, and strangely enough this reminds me of Kyoukai No Kanata, just without all the personality and supernatural. KnK still sucked.
– Speaking of Kyoani goodness, yoooo, the artstyle and animation suck here. Why, why wasn´t this given to Kyoani? how much did Satelight pay, who´s dick did they have to suck to get it? One way or another, the good ol´ Haruhi Suzumiya looks a lot better than this ´015.
– The scene of Nagato and Kyon walking past Haruhi and that other guy happens. Is this actually the story of The Dissapearance but told from Nagato´s moefied point of view? Mmkay. Turkey.
– Well, from the movie we know eyebrows girl is a crazy psychopath and slashes people in half, here her most evil deed is being a highschooler housewife. Also turkey.
– Now they´re discussing the Christmas party while eating – turkey – and we´re being treated to the first bra shot of the season, the aftermath ain´t half as bad, just incredibly sickelingly moe.
– “Awwwh look at Nawgatooh she´s wuves turkey let´s buy her erotic hug pillow!!” – is what Satelight wants me to say, but fuck you, I don´t like turkey.
– Okay but is this episode going to end with eyebrows going apeshit and killing everyone? or is her character just there for the yuri fanfics, moe and turkeys?
– Blah blah blah, they find Asahina, have some stupid anime battle, I realized Kyon is one ugly motherfucker in this and the episode ends with eyebrows not killing everyone, and instead hypes us up with, uh, a Christmas party? We´re in spring, Satelight.
-As most anime this season, Nagato-chan wasn´t terrible, but not great, either. It´s definitely not the Haruhi we all know from the good ol´ weaboo boom days and that sticks out like a sore thumb. Regardless, the idea of this becoming the second coming of jesus should´ve gone down the drain once Satelight got chosen as the studio, will I watch it? Prooobably, I like moe once in a while and as I´ve said, nothing here is terribly offensive. Except for Kyons face.