Anime is weird. For one, we have the crying white haired imouto who swears she´s a senior in highschool, the gary stus, the alarming number of angsty my-family-situation-is-bad-pls-buy-my-body-pillow-jpg shoujo loverboy characters and, to make things even worse, Tokyo Ghoul Root A exists. I feel like we should all collectively apologize to Miyazaki.
The Audience Is Really Fucking Stupid So We Have To Explain Everything in The Most Unsubtle Way Ever To Explain It To Them Complex.
Biggest offenders: Every shonen ever, Pokemon, Aldnoah.Zero, most supernatural harem animu, Kuroko No Basket.
You know what I´m talking about, and I don´t mean to make this my most Buzzfeed sounding article to date, but c´mon, we´ve all had to sit on our chair watching series ignore the golden ´show don´t tell rule´ while telling us that Inaho has a robotic eye even though we can quite cleary see that Inaho has a robotic eye, but of course, who wants to see an awesome animated fight or action scene if you can just have a pretty pink haired anime girl with big tits tell us that A is totally defeating B even though A is struggling after a rough childhood. Right.
Mr. & Mrs. Perfect, A.K.A The Gary Sue Complex.
Biggest offenders: Aldnoah.Zero, Mahouka, countless more but I generally don´t watch shows with these characters so forgive me for the lack of titles.
No matter what, no matter when, no matter how, these characters will save the day, rule the world and get the ladies with a straight face. The Mrs.Sues? They´re generally the perfect housewife that don´t think of a lot more than their boyfriends.
Really, why are these characters a thing? They´re boring, they have zero characterzation and the show loses tension by the time you realize that every time this character is on screen, he´ll whip his magic stick around a few times, throw some fairy dust and defy the laws of the show he´s in to save the day while the entire cast including his superiors look up at him in awe all while the audience yawns. Seriously, what the fuck, Inaho?
Biggest Offenders: Open a seasonal anime chart. See that poster with the girls with the big eyes holding their breasts with their arms while looking intimidating? That one.
This season I held my breath and tried out Fafnir for the sake of blogging and complaining about it, unfortunately Fafnir left me defeated, as I could not handle one more second of that mess. As goes for Absolute Duo.
Don´t get me wrong, I have seen Highschool DxD one time a few years ago while I was sick in bed. But I was sick in bed. So. Uh.
The Angsty Shoujo Love Interest Character + That Final Kiss Scene In The Classroom At Night With Fireworks Unless You´re Kimi No What The Heck Is Romance.
Biggest Offenders: Ao Haru Ride, Kaichou Wa Maid Sama, all the anime mentioned in every ´give me a good shoujo anime´ Yahoo thread.
If you complain about 50 Shades Of Grey and adore shoujo anime a lá Bokura Ga Ita and Itazura Na Kiss, you lose all the credibility you had, in my eyes. Apart from being two of the most offensive anime titles to date, I feel like if the pretty face were replaced with an overweight short boy a 100% of the viewers would frown and laugh at him, but since Kou and Kyouya are skinny boys with good hair and pretty nails, swoon. Is this really okay? Whatever, it´s annoying as hell.
The Tragic Character Whose Job Is To Stare Into The Camera Looking Sad Cliché.
Biggest Offenders: Most of the shoujo loverboys could fit in this category, also Tokyo Ghoul.
Okay man, you could be on the next cover of Vogue and your hair was washed by the Gary Stu fairy dust, but I think a character with personality could also be a nice switch from the usual pretty looking husk who´s supposed to have a tragic past involving a dog but the only thing we really find out is that he likes to look sad and do the ´Tch.´ thing every other episode. Yeah, I´m pressed about Tokyo Ghoul, DGAF.
Honorable Mentions: I feel like this list deserves and extension of some sort, but for now I feel like I should call out all the white haired anime girls that either cry too much or don´t cry at all, the lolis that got lost after leaving kindergarden, the pretty boy gay-but-not-really characters, the ugly bestfriend characters, the breasts that should be thoroughly investigated by NASA and finally the harem bros, it´s your fault Japans birth rate is declining.