And thus one of the most Japan-anticipated shows of the season has premiered, and we kick it off with girls moaning and getting their precious pantsu wet over delicious food, tentacles and hot daddies. Ah, so this is Shonen Jump after all.
– I didn´t think Souma was the actual name of our protagonist, it sounds Indian an…oh, look, tentacle rape. I forgot what I was gonna say.
– So, what you´re saying is, the relationship between Souma and sugardaddy is the same as the relationship between Naruto and Sasuke, the love-hate and trying to be better than one another and all? Okay.
– Minutes have passed and I´m hungry. Is this the moeless version of that one Shaft show no one cared about it last season?
– The eggs in the opening look like butts.
– So far what I know of Shokugeki no Souma is that Souma and his father compete over who makes the most orgasm-inducing dish and then who makes the most disgusting dish, this is apparently sexually inciting and I am confused.
–Blah blah blah, some woman appears and starts talking. I don´t care. The show knows you don´t care either, so they make her boobs bounce for a bit. Hereafter this pseudo-yakuza group sprays paint over the restaurant and messes up all the ingredients, why? fuck would I know, because it´s the progatonists restaurant, obviously.
-Why does this woman care so much? Why? Whyyy??
– After taunting Souma and claiming he can´t make anything decent with the ruined ingredients, Souma whips up some sex-on-a-dish anyway, all with the epic music and “nandeee? how does he DO that?!” included. Is this Pokemon.
– This is definitely not Pokemon, because I don´t remember Brock ever saying along the lines of “I want more meat juice.” which sound innocent enough. Not.
– By now I don´t even know what´s going on, but Souma won and the supermodel yakuza left.
-Turns out daddy´s a jerk after all and abandons his son just like all shonen fathers are expected to do, but not before sending him off to some super elite cooking school which by the looks of it, is probably ilegal in more places than one.
-Episode ends with Souma staring up to the school. I wasn´t actually gonna watch this show, and I doubt I´ll stick with it through the end, but, hey, it wasn´t mind bogglingly terrible, and I can understand why so many people like this, so power to them, I guess, but this just isn´t my kind of comedy.