It takes just a bit more than a 13-year-old hormone pumped tween who’s new to anime and who’s favourite shows include Mirai Nikki, Elfen Lied and other wish fullfilling weird 2EDGY4ME crap to admit that anime, as a whole, is pretty much a hot mess of clichés, otaku pandering and the occasional show that dares to break out of the mold.
Naturally, not all clichés are bad and not all pandering digs another hole in the grave of anime, but boy, are there some shows that deserve to be put in Fiction’s Hall Of Shame.
Today, I’ll talk about 5 shows in which my enjoyement was 0, headache was 10 and self-pity over 9000. Cheers.
5. Vampire Knight
Oh Vampire Knight, where do I begin? I really didn’t want to put this on the list knowing that I genuinely enjoyed the manga (all the Twilight-esque melodrama aside) which was beautifully illustrated by Matsuri Hino, and man, do I feel bad for her that this crappy adaptation didn’t just spawn one season, but two.
If you’re new to anime and you think you’re edgy for liking it, Vampire Knight is the show to watch. It is also every girls wet fantasies and is what 50 Shades Of Grey would be if Mari Okada would’ve written it.
4. Mahou Sensou
Soo… did anyone actually like this show? ‘Cause I sure as hell didn’t. This was an obvious advertisement for the Light Novel using the most ridiculous psychology I have ever seen: Making the show bad so people check out the source material which is probably a lot better.
MADHOUSE has lost a bit of my faith.
3. Mirai Nikki
I’m gonna get so much shit for this. Mirai Nikki is the Elfen Lied of today, adored by hordes of new hormone-pumped self-proclaimed “otaku” that think they’re oh so cool and edgy for liking a cartoon involving beautiful girls with big tits and blood. I can kinda-sorta understand the people that ENJOYED it, what I don’t understand are the people that think it’s actually GOOD. It’s a hot mess in every way and the writing is allegedly some of the worst I have ever seen.
Oh, this girl was raped, feel bad for her. Oh, Yuno is a crazy bitch, she’s so cool. Oh, a boy kissed another boy, time to squeal. Oh boo-fucking hoo, you only watch this because of Yuno anyway, who cares about the Shinji and Kaworu rip-offs anyway, right?
2. Maria Holic
“Shut up or I’ll rape you.“
Now, I’m not the type to get offended over fiction, I mean, it’s fiction after all, right? Everything should be allowed. Well, Maria Holic almost changed my opinion. It’s repetitive gags involving the single most annoying lesbian in all of anime and the single most offensive crossdresser in fiction makes up for an unfunny duo that’s not annoying, but aggravating. It’s painful to watch, really. Not even SHAFT could save this and I hope the people that bought the DVD did so just to burn it.
1.Kashimashi Girl Meets Girl
Oh my actual God. This show makes me so, so angry. I am genuinely dissapointed in the human race for having the capacity to write this piece of garbage. It is the epitome of uninspiring and cliché.
Yes, Kashimashi Girl Meets Girl is the worst anime I have had the displeasure of watching. Words can’t express my feelings, but I would never ever ever suggest you watch this to find out either. Ahh, how conflicting.
Atleast Vampire Knight had some coherence, atleast Mahou Sensou had another motive, atleast Mirai Nikki made me laugh, atleast Maria Holic had some heart, but this, this is nothing, a void of everything wrong with modern anime, a piece of fiction that deserves to be forgotten, which for writers and illustrators alike, is a worse consequence than death.