So we finally kick the season off, and it´s the courtesy of Lance N´ Lolis to set the bar for the rest of it (Shut up, Diabolic Bondage Freaks doesn´t count) and boy, it couldn´t have gotten off to a more boring and uninteresting start.
Lance N´ Lolis seems pretty garish from the get-go what with the MC – my memory is allergic to generic shonen names – running dramatically towards our loli – a pretty cute loli, if I say so myself – to save the sad maiden in distress from falling off a cliff straight to the ground to get her six year old brains smashed in.
This thing feels like it came straight out of 2007 and Studio Gokumi – previously known for A Channel, Kiniro Mosaic, Generic Anime With Cute Girls A and Generic Anime With Cute Girls B – just found the files on a computer and decided to release it in case someone might actually buy a piece of merchandise and the animators can get like, an extra slice of cheese on their lunch.
I say this because along with the fact that Lance N´ Lolis has some of the most impressive in-your-face awful animation, dreadful stillframes and character designs that are just embarassing to look at, all in all Lance N´ Lolis isn´t total bullshit. I mean, it´s definitely bullshit. But it´s not the offensive kind of bullshit. It´s the kind of bullshit that makes me wonder whether or not there´s really an audience for this and I ask myself why Manglobe had to go bankrupt – shit, I spontaneously feel like loving Gangsta all of a sudden.
At times during these painful twenty-four minutes (of which I probably skipped like, seven minutes) I had to wonder if Lance N´ Lolis is aware of its own garish-ness, I mean, with speeches like that and a setting so extra, how could they not be?
Even if they are, in the end, it doesn´t matter, because Lance N´ Lolis still fails to be entertaining on pretty much every level for us who aren´t thirsty loli fanatics and, in the end, for me personally it just feels like a melting pot of all the things I don´t like out of all generic 2007 animu. Empty and a ball of “meh” and “I don´t care.” I have, unsurprisingly, dropped this.
PS: Shoutout to that chibi horse. Lance N´ Lolis really plays on the brony demographic here.