Subjectively-Objective Reviews#8 Diabolik Lovers


Pleased to meet you, little bitch.

— Raito Sakamaki (The douche with the hat)

I feel as if  this entire series was a joke and I was the punchline. Generic, last minute attempt of a “story”, offensive characters that fit in with this masochist fetish or that masochist fetish. It’s like they didn’t even try.

Behold Diabolik Lovers, the first anime I’ve finished this season. Behold, the most enjoyable anime of the season.


Diabolik-Lovers-diabolik-lovers-35749644-711-1000Story? What story? Oh, all right, if you need a synopsis that is not “Blank eyed harem lead#4 is sent to live with 6 boys because of reasons. The catch is that all six are sadist vampires that proceed to suck her blood and touch her boobs while insulting her, one character per episode. Then they realized they ran out of vampires so they tried to plot but that didn’t work out I guess. Also harem lead#4 suffers Stockholm Syndrome apparently.”

Then maybe this will do;

Due to her fathers job Yui Komori is sent to live with six boys that turn out to be vampires. 10 episodes later we find out Yui has the heart of Cordelia and thus Cordelia takes over her body. half an episode later and this is solved with the single biggest asspull of a solution that I have ever seen in my dear life.

For a harem, the setup is pretty cool I guess. But I really can’t give this anymore than a 3.


I have got to say that these characters went from making me all kinds of uncomfortable to making me laugh. They are really kind of horrible, to be honest. With the cheesy flashbacks that didn’t really say anything about them; I can’t even call them tragic. Just dumb.

Though I gotta admit they did kind of amuse me as the series continued, especially mister bitch-chan.

Animation & Music

Not gonna lie, I really do love the opening and the ending. The animation, too. While it was clearly a low-budget series, I think it’s one of the prettiest looking low-budget series I have ever seen. It matches the atmosphere, atleast. Also the eyes are so very pretty.

Final Verdict And Why I liked this

Confession time. Diabolik Lovers is the only series I have seen this season where I didn’t miss a single episode. The ridiculousness and such was kind of hilarious. And while the first three episodes left my eyes wide and wondering, the episodes after that were actually kind of… fun to watch. Especially the ending, where I felt so marvelously fucked over I was still laughing the next  day in school about it.

Oh harems, how dumb you are. I’m not even gonna talk about how dissapointed I was that Yui didn’t end up stabbing everyone in that house and giving us School Days No.2. Oh well.

I would not recommend watching this unless you are a masochist and like dumb stories. Spare yourself, even if it is just fifteen minutes per episode.


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