Highschool Star Musical Episode 1 Thoughts – The Chronicles Of the Sexually Ambiguous Pretty Boys.

Untitled
you know he´s edgy because he has red hair

If this were any more camp it´d be a summer home. That was a bad joke and this was a bad episode. I mean, I guess it´s not completely awful. Sure the episode starts out with a dude with more fabulous hair than mine tap-dancing awkwardly for nobody and our MC staring at him like this were the next best shoujo anime, bu- actually, nevermind, it´s exceptionally awful.

To be fair, I watched Star Mu  straight after watching Osumatsu-san, which if you haven´t seen it already (and you totally should) effectively takes the piss out of idol anime in the most accurate way possible; of course everything seems a little more ridiculous after that, and even though a healthy dose of campy anime is good for any soul, I think Star Mu really took it to the next level.

They probably had to think really deeply about its title. I mean, nothing says shitty idol show more like “Highchool Star Musical”, right?

The episode starts out with our MC -who looks like he could also be the MC of some ecchi harem animu – staring at some dude performing either some strange ritual, tapdancing, or ballet; that or our MC is just high and it´s all a metaphor for drugs, because why else would that guy have black wings, right?

Things happen and we´re treated to a scene of the pretty boys breaking out in a song that´d make Kpop fans cry. Of how generic it is. But no one is here for the music and even though I don´t know why this scene is happening I accept it and get treated further to the MC recognizing the angel dude and his bestfriend totally has the hots for him. The halfway illustrations remind of the DRAMAtical Murder visual novel style and that ended up with one of the couples rotting in hell.

But 12 minutes in and we´re not in hell – yet – instead we´re still with the sexually ambiguous pretty boys auditioning for something and we know who´s going to be relevant and who isn´t because everyone except a handful has average hair styles and hair colours and that´s just how anime works.

Obviously the guys here are all very serious about both hair dye and dancing in tight suits. 14 minutes have passed and a lot of things have happened but I´m just so confused over everything, man, if only these guys would make-out or blow each other in the bathroom. That´d be a fancy gimmick.

I stopped caring halfway through and fuck, I think I made the right choice; I´ve never liked idol shows despite being as much in the Kpop fandom as the anime one – GOT7, BTS and SHINee are my favourite groups and my Tumblr is pretty much dedicated to them, so StarMu probably has people like myself in  mind; but I found nothing. No enjoyement. No shipping feels. No sudden increase of estrogen. Just confusion and the odd laugh that doesn´t make up for all the cliché bullshit.

Maybe someday we´ll get a fun idol show for us girls, but it seems Highschool Star Musical is not here to do it. Dropped.


Yo follow ya mami on Twitter here for random anime rants or life thoughts in general. Or Instagram here if you feel like seeing some bad drawings. I´ll probably follow back because I have no friends.

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